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Ok so words told to me by kyle have hit me hard. But its sad, because it wasn’t the way he intended. “feel as if youve become the one thing that I never thought you would become steph, i thought you would always stay so pure”
And I thought about. I thought about it long and hard. And I realized, I like many others have another side. One that I don’t like to show. And in all honestly it makes me anything but pure.
Nick inspired me to write this blog. Because I think people need to know that other side.
Not many get to know this other side. I keep it down in a dark corner somewhere and tell it to fuck off when it tries to appear. But once in awhile you’ll get a glimpse.
Its that side that gets really fucked up. Its that side lies constantly and just doesn’t care and most of the time doesn’t even realize shes doing it. It’s the side that has a sick twisted mind that hopes people will get hurt. It’s the side that if you piss her off enough, or fuck with her friends, she’s willing to bash your face in with a crowbar. It’s the side that gets the most amount of pleasure fucking with people’s minds. She enjoys raw sex that involves the most amount of pain possible. She enjoys the feeling of the blade hitting her skin. And its fucked. And I hide it. Because it’s the side that just wants to not give a shit about life, and fuck and do drugs and be merry.
I pretend like im the sweet little girl who thinks the world is puppies and rainbows. And kyle brought that out in me. But its not all of me. And it drove me crazy at times. Very very few people know my other side. But those people like ali, robyn and Jessie, are the ones who know how to stop me when that side shows.
The guy I’ve been messing around with’s girlfriend found out today. And of course naturally he picked her. He said he still wanted me, but he rejected me as I did him back a month or so ago. They belong together. I’ll get over it. But I’ll miss his friendship…fuck I’ll miss the sex.
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